Thursday, July 9, 2009

Lou Bega Announces New Concert in his Living Room!

It has been rumored that Lou Bega is going to be starting a new reunion/come back concert.

The concert will be held in his living room.

The concert will only be for his cat.

He will still get booed.

Lou Bega's Existence is a Joke... and not even a funny one.

From the concert:

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Morgan Fairchild gets facial plastic surgery...

This just in:

Morgan Fairchild has reportedly gone through a surgical procedure to make her face 10 years younger. She has gone to one Dr. Gerry Jones, a renowned plastic surgeon, but he is probably most famous for re-attaching Lou Bega's penis when it fell off because he sucked so much.

What happened to Lou Bega?!

It seems that no one has a clear answer on the timely question: "What happened to Lou Bega?!" Rumors are flying around. Everything from "He became a Yeti and moved to the Antarctic" to "He decided that his one song was so annoying and he hated himself so much because of that song that he's torturing himself by putting himself in a straight-jacket and forcefully listening to the song on repeat."

But finally the truth came out. Supposedly Lou Bega decided to become a native yodeler in the Swiss alps where he dresses in silly outfits and gets respect from absolutely nobody.

That is actually a lie.

But the truth is much more sad. Lou Bega can't get past the popularity of his hit song and now makes no money and hopes that people will go to his myspace music page when they get a chance to somehow validate his existence.

Boy... that is sad... maybe he should let people use his silly song on youtube videos... maybe that would somehow help his popularity.

34 illegitimate children?! Only Lou Bega...

Rumors are running rampant that Lou Bega has fathered not one, not two, three, four five, but 34 illegitimate children around the United States during the one month of his life that people thought he was somewhat entertaining and not just the author of the most annoying song of all time.

To make matters worse, rumors state that all of the children are gross looking, and that Lou Bega doesn't pay child support because he has no money left after he lost it all in a prostitution ring in Kentucky.

Lou Bega was not asked to comment because this rumor just sounds way too true.